Eighteen and a half years ago, the world’s biggest drama
queen was born, and her name was Bethany .
22 months later, she gained a younger sister, who also had melodramatic
tendencies, but not enough to steal the crown of the world’s biggest drama queen.
This sister was called Eliza, and she was me.
This morning, Bethany left to
go to university in Wales ,
four hours away. Where there were two, there is now one. Bethany and I haven’t
always gotten on very well. When I was about five, she used all my blue
water-colour paint to write out the word “Cinderella” and I still haven’t quite
forgiven her. On the rare occasions that I actually convinced her to play dolls
with me, she would spend the entire time doing their hair, dressing them up,
when all I wanted to focus on was the story. We disagreed on most things. But,
in spite of her always stealing my make-up, and using my laptop without asking,
she’s my sister, and even though she’s only been gone ten hours, I miss her.
Being homeschooled for most of my life, my sister was my
best and only friend. She drove me completely mental, all the time, because we
were so different, but she’s still the one who’s been there for my entire life,
and now she’s gone.
Like it or not, Bethany
was one of my greatest influences. She was the oldest: the first to walk, the
first to read, the first to leave. I was always two steps behind, and now I’m
walking alone.
Who am I without her? Who am I when I don’t have anyone’s
mistakes to learn from? I’m me, and I know who I am, but I don’t know who I am
when I’m the only child left. She’s 22 months older than me, and she’s an
adult, so where does that put me?
Where do I fit into her life now? She’s going to make so
many friends that I’m never going to meet, and she’s going to have so many
boyfriends that I’m never going to scare… She’s going to have an entire life
that I'm not part of. But my life will be pretty much the same as the one she
knew me to have: I’ll go to the same school, I’ll have the same friends, I’ll
have the same teachers, the same problems, the same house, the same family, the
same self. She’s leaving me behind, she’s moving forward. I’m staying right
here. And maybe that’s okay.
Life changes for different people at different times.
Everything’s sped up for her right now, but maybe it will be my turn soon, and
maybe it won’t. That’s the thing about life: we never know what’s around the
corner, we never know where we’re going to go next, or who we’re going to see,
and we never know who we’re going to become.
I've lost my sister for a while, but maybe by stepping out
of her shadow, I will be able to fully become my true self.
Hello there. id like to order 10,000 copys of your book in preparation for bonfire night. thankyou
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should read one first... might teach you a thing or two about spelling. ('copies' is correct, 'copys' makes you look like more of an idiot than your comment does).
DeleteNo i am being serious the fruit and the juice gives off a magical autumn harvest time feel. perfect for when me and 10,000 of my friends sit around our enormous camp fire and eat marshmallows whilst delving into the mysterious depths of your glorious book. oh und sorri i hav dyslexia but tha iz obviuslee mi folt.
DeleteWill you ever sell your books at WHSmith? Asking for a friend.
ReplyDeleteBitches and hoes be like new clothes. once you got em you wish you never had em.
ReplyDeleteAnd because none of us know what's round the corner, is why your life will also be full of adventure, new things, new people, you just wait x
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Eliza. You don't know how lucky you are having a sister; I'd give anything for that pleasure. Just ignore the idiots because they're not worth the time. They're clearly just jealous of your success! If we went to the same Sixth Form, we'd definitely be friends. I wish we could be!
ReplyDeleteKeep positive, Eliza!
Amelii
xxx
P.S. I hope your exams went as good as you were hoping for.
Your so gay that... that.., you don't know what to say... your gay...
DeleteThank you Amelii :)
DeleteYour comment really meant a lot to me (especially as most of the other comments I've had on this blog recently haven't been very nice).
My exams did go really well, so I'm very happy about that :)